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Freewheeling with Vivek Oberoi
Are you a morning person or an evening person?
Both actually, Mornings are bright and I love evenings in terms of romance. It's hot afternoons that wear me down.
What's your favourite endearment?
Anything spoken with a lot of love. In fact, I love unconventional endearments. I don't like the regular jaan, baby, sweetheart. I love it when someone calls me dog in a loving way. I think the fun in an endearment is the way it's said.
Do you tell lies well?
If it's a white lie, joke or prank, I'm brilliant. But if I'm guilty, covering up for someone or if I've done something wrong. I can't live with it. I've called people at 3 in the night to say, I'm soryy, I lied to you.
What's the most special gift you've given your parents?
All my parents want is grandchildren. On a more serious note, the gift I've given them, from their perspective, is to be a good human being. They are very proud, happy and content parents. They should be, because I like to think they've done a good job of raising me.
Are you a big baby person?
A huge one. I love kids, I love kids. My poor wife, if I weren't be rational and sensible and under standing of what a woman has to go through to have a child, I'd want maybe a hundred kids.
I've already got them in a way. Because I interact a lot with children in remand homes, kids who've got cancer. And there are all my nieces and nephews of course.
How naughty were you in school?
I was a crazy combination because I was very, very naughty and very, very bright. I'd be in the Principal's office in the morning because I'd be topping my class in Accounts and I'd be back in the afternoon because I was in trouble yet again. My parents used to be very confused about how to deal with me.
What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?
In boarding school, there was this bully who'd borrow everything you had and never return it. So I decided to teach him a lesson. I got the idea when he asked me, how do you have such good hair? I told him, it's this secret product I use. Just massage it into your hair when you go to sleep and wash if off in the morning. Guess what I gave him in a plain bottle, hair remover. His hair came out in tufts the next day and he had to shave his head bald.
Do you believe in destiny?
A lot. But I think of it as an external framework, which is a maze of opportunities, a puzzle full of choices. What you, as an individual, make out of every opportunity with your purushat, your karma, energy and focus is your karma within that framework.
What is your definition of love?
Love is just being. Being happy, being comfortable, just being. Two people enjoying life just being with each other. They don't need to talk, interact, do anything to have fun. Love is a paradox, so many opposites all rolled into one. It is the most intense thing and the calmest thing you could feel. The greatest pain and the greatest pleasure. Love is the difference between living and existing.
What is your idea of rommance?
I' am a hugely romantic guy. I'm full of surprises, do a lot of romantic things like little notes, poetry. gifts. I have phenomenally different ideas. For instance, I was away from my girlfriend for our first Valentine's Day,. she was in Kolkata, I in mumbai. I sent her an sms which was a series of clues in verse that she had to put together and which would lead her to the door. When she opened it, she saw a bouquet in a cane basket shaped like a heart, with a thousand Chinese roses in it. Along with a poem I'd written for her.I'd organised it and timed it to perfection, sitting here in Mumbai. The bouquet dwarfed her, it was over six feet tall and about four feet wide. After she got over her initial emotional outburst, she said, now how do I bring it into my room?
What's the most cherished gift your loved one has given you?
Surprising me by coming down to see me when I'm missing someone and needing them emotionally is the greatest gift I can get.
where would you take your girl on a special date?
We could go out for an expensive five star meal but that's so predictable. Instead, I would take her out in the middle of torrential rain, drive down to Haribhai's stall just outside Mithibai College for adrak ki chai and fresh hot vada pav with lasun-mirchi chutney. In fact, that's exactly what I did once. She'd never done anything like it and she sat there munching on vada pav and saying, this is fabulous.
What can you simply not resist?
Indian sweets. I run away from Indian sweet shops because I go berserk in them. Rasmalai, gulab jamun...ogawd...badam kheer, gajar halwa with ice cream...omigawd.
What's your definition of beauty?
When you see someone's soul reflected in their eyes, that's beauty. My girlfriend once asked me, when I'm 50 and all wrinkled, would you still think I'm beautiful? I replied, even more so because in every wrinkle I will see the life I've shared with you. Every wrinkle will be testimoy to the babies we've created, to the moments we've amassed in our lives.
What puts you off in a woman?
Self pity. I like strength. I like spirit, individuality. I love ambition, I love games, so long as they're clean and not meant to harm anyone else. I like women who are mysterious, unpredictable, like the wind, you never know which way it's going to blow.
What's the way to a woman's heart?
Through a jewelery store. No, seriously, the way to a woman's heart is in acknowledgement. Acknowledging who she is, respecting what she is all about. To me what's interesting about a woman is the way she thinks, her religious beliefs, her political thoughts. and what she does for a living, because it is a representation of who she thinks she is. If you just listened to her and acknowledged everything about her, she'd love you.
What would your dream house be like?
Anything my wife wants. As long as she lives in it, it's my dream house. But I like homes where my kids can play, scribble on the walls. I will never get those walls repainted because that is my baby's scribble on the wall.
Would you like to get married quietly or with a lot of dhoom dhaam?
Depends on how I'm feeling that morning. It's as spontaneous as that. I might get up and say, guess what, we're getting married today. Or I could say, we're going to get married in a month and we're going to have the grandest, biggest splash. So as of now, I don't know.
Do you think there's something like pure lust?
Yes, but it can happen with someone you love. Your love life, your intimacy should always be interesting and I'm somebody who'd work at it, go out of my way to keep it that way. But just to sleep with someone for the sake of sleeping with them, and without an emotional connection is meaningless. Sex is usually so overrated, hugly overrated.
How do you cope with your woman getting intimate on screen with someone else?
That never touches me, never. It's a job, I do it, she does it. And the degree to which we do it in Hindi films, it's nothing. But if your spouse or partner has to do a love making scene with somebody, I assume it would affect anybody. How you come to terms with it is what love is all about. Understanding, respecting and appreciating everything that your partner does is love.
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